These are the Celestials. They are big. My news is big. It’s not as big as the Celestials, but I like the Celestials so I’m putting a picture of them up here.

Sorry I haven’t been able to post in a lil bit. Nobody is reading this. Who am I apologizing to? Nobody I suppose. I like to pretend I have an audience. It’s what I do so I don’t feel so aloooooooone. Anywho, like the title says, there is some big news coming up and that is why I have been too busy to post my usual random silliness. Stay Tuned!

James Harrison: part time football player, full time weirdo

I just read this story on yahoo. Apparently James Harrison of the Steelers doesn’t want to meet the president because…… well I’ll just post the quote.

“This is how I feel — if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don’t win the Super Bowl. As far as I’m concerned, he [Obama] would’ve invited Arizona if they had won.”

I feel like I should make a joke here, but I can’t. It’s just so ridiculous. This story does make me happy I don’t like the NFL though.

I am in need of a 5′x3′ frame for a new painting so I was planning on stripping this unfinished painting of Charles Mingus, but it’s really not that bad, so I’m thinking maybe I should just finish it. What do you think? Finish or not finish?

All this lip syncing talk got me thinking, what qualifies as lip syncing? For example, is what beyonce does count as lip syncing?

(FIERCE!)

There is a very audible backing track, and she does use it in lue of her actually singing, but it’s not like she’s pretending to sing. She kind of just lets it play while she decides to stand around and look all fierce.

(Apprently Lady Gaga got a nose job)

I found this quote from Lady Gaga on Perez Hilton:

“I would never even think about it (lip synching). The whole point to me is, if you’re gonna be number one, you better really be fucking number one. If you’re gonna be on top, you better be able to do all those things, because it’s a real privilege to be able to make music everyday, and I get away with a lot…Andy Warhol says art is what you can get away with, and I get away with a lot with my music and my clothes, and I work really hard so I could truly be a real artist for all my fans. That’s really fucked up when you lip-synch.”

Now that sounds all well and good in theory, but seeing as how Lady Gaga is (at best) a marginal singer, a pretty mediocre dancer, and is basically a poor man’s Britney Spears, her outrage seems somewhat comical. Props on name dropping Andy Warhol though. That was very sneaky clever.

(Lady Gaga demonstrating the Tommy Lee method of proving you are a real artist: play an idiot simple song on piano. Justin Timberlake made this popular)

On a side note, I actually like Lady Gaga’s music.

(Maria Sharapova Does Not Approve)

I hate life.

In some of my pevious posts I’ve mentioned in passing that I’m a scientist. This is very true. Not just any kind of scientist either. I’m like an inventor type scientist in the vein of Thomas Edison or Tex Winter. One of my previous inventions is something I like to call “The Skateboard of Truth.”

The premise behind “The Skateboard of Truth” is pretty simple. Basically what it does is display on the bottom of the deck the truth about the rider. If you are a jerk, it will say you are a jerk. If you are a good guy, it wll say you are a good and so on and so forth. It’s like a magic 8-ball, but for real. The truth telling mechanism is activated by the user doing a kickflip. Here’s a picture of my friend Peter Pham demonstating how it works:

See? Isn’t that cool? And for all of you doubting Thomases out there that think I’m just making this up, I’ll have you know that Peter Pham is without question one of the realest people you will ever meet.

These are my new Jams:

Beyonce – Hello

Ne-Yo – Part of the List (the video is pretty weak though)

Pau Gasol says: “I’m tall.”

I know this is pretty late, but since nobody really reads these, I’m not too worried about it Anywho, this game, as anybody who would be concerned already knows, was what was known as a laugher. There wasn’t much to analyze. Basically The Lakers realized that the Rockets’ center was 6′6″ Chuck Hayes 6′10″ Brian Cook (who, although he’s 6′10,” plays like he’s 4′2″) and that their centers were seven foot Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum. And they played accordingly. They played hard, but not all that hard. It was interesting to note that I think this was the first time all year they didn’t blow a big lead.

After the game, the buzz making the rounds was whether or not the Lakers had finally woken up, or if they are still just playing inconsistently and game 5 happened to be on their good day. By and large, most of the pundits have consigned to the fact that the Lakers are just a real up and down arrogant team and that this game wasn’t really a return to form or anything like that. I tend to agree. This team has maybe the worst case of Piston-itis I’ve seen since……… well, the Pistons. And we all know have that turned out.

Am I worried? Yeah. However, this Laker team is far better than any of the Piston-itis teams. Also, even though their collective arrogance played a huge part in their failure, I felt that their biggest deficiency was a lack of a real center after Ben Wallace left. That and they had no respect for their coach. Neither are problems this Laker team possesses.

The Bill Russell MVP of the Game Award: Kobe. Why? Because he’s Kobe. And he has an adam’s apple the size of my fist. Granted I have a small fist, but still.

The Jerry West MVP of the Losing Team Award: Normally I would just automatically give this award to the Fabulous Battier, but he played really, really not fabulous so I can’t in good conscience give it to him. I’ll give it to Aaron Brooks because he looks lik Chris Rock.

The Dominique Wilkins Highlight of the Game: Sasha’s Block Followed by a Breakaway Dunk. That sequence was what I like to call a Pinnochio moment. A Pinnochio moment is when somebody suddenly grows into a real boy (or in Sasha’s case, a real basketball player.) Sadly, it didn’t last very long as Sasha managed to brick everything else. Still though, it quite a change of pace for Sasha to go 1-7 and his one made basket was a dunk

After doing some half assed research I discovered that Jon and Kate are apparently this couple that has like 8 kids and they have some sort of reality show on TLC. The controversey surrounding them is that either the girl or the dude is having an affair or something. I didn’t get to deeply into it because for one, I can’t read. Two, I don’t concern myself with the private lives of the ugly people.

But it did make me think, they have a reality show on TLC right? When did people start watching TLC? I mean, what the hell kind of world do we live in where people who are on TLC are famous? It’s a travesty. I weep for the future.